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Spiritual direction

What is Spiritual Direction?
Spiritual direction, also sometimes called "holy listening," is a committed regular relationship with someone gifted and experienced in helping you reflect on God's presence in your everyday life. This would include helping you with your personal prayer life, sometimes called your "Rule of Life," which, in the Anglican tradition is a balance of prayer, study, work and relaxation (play). 

Who seeks Spiritual Direction?
Any person who seeks a deeper relationship with God and a strong expression of that relationship-young, old, women, men, laity, bishops, priests, deacons, nuns, monks-will benefit from being in spiritual direction.

Where does Spiritual Direction come from?
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law? Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment." (Mt 22:32-38)

The roots of spiritual direction in its simplest form are found in God's commandments to us. It has been said that if we truly live the first commandment, all else will follow.

To the Hebrew people God sent prophets as God's messengers. The NIV Study Bible tells us "A prophet was the bearer of a message from God, not primarily a foreteller of coming events." These messages spoke to individuals and to whole communities. Often, the prophets were unpopular because their interpretations were not what people wanted to hear. God's chosen people did not want to be obedient. They created legalistic power structures. They worshiped the law and, competitively, their own interpretations of the law.

And so God sent Christ, the greatest spiritual director, to show us God's will for our lives-to place God in the center of our lives.

"How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not Christ have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?" And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself. …They asked each other "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?" (Luke:24:25-27, 32)

As the Early Church grew, people received guidance and direction from the Disciples and, eventually, from the deacons and "elders"-those with a mature faith.

That Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in Him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love; and may you be able to feel and understand, as God's children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high [God's] love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God. (Eph.3:17-19)

Another form of spiritual direction in the Early Church was adult baptism, the original focus of Lent, in which adult converts to Christianity were prepared for baptism at the Great Vigil, the first service of Easter, by deacons and those persons in the community with demonstrated gifts in spiritual formation.

By the 3rd Century, under the Emperor Constantine, Christianity became the established religion and the Church became an established institution. By the 4th Century, some religious men and women found it too difficult to live in close relationship with God in the midst of the established Church in the world or, as they believed, the world too much in the Church. They were guided to go apart, as Christ had done. They went into the deserts of Egypt and Palestine and became known as the Desert Mothers and Fathers. They spent time in prayer and silence, granting occasional audiences to seekers, or pilgrims, who came for spiritual direction. This model for spiritual direction is still practiced today by many Orthodox Christians and Roman Catholics who consult with cloistered religious men and women a few times a year.

Today, most Christians living in the modern world struggle with spiritually challenging environments. We ask ourselves "How do I live faithfully, obediently in the world but not of the world?" In addition to being active members of a parish community, and in support of our Baptismal Covenant, we may be guided to meet with a spiritual director in order that we might deepen our Christian witness in our daily life in the world. Persons who seek a clearer understanding of their baptismal ministry, or who might wish to explore a possible call to ordained ministry, are advised to enter spiritual direction to assist in their process of discernment.

What is Anglican Spiritual Direction?
Our Anglican roots begin in the 16th Century with Henry VIII. During this politically driven transition from allegiance to the Church of Rome to the newly established Church of England many committed and faithful Christians were seeking individual spiritual guidance, albeit in secret in order to protect themselves and their families. In the religious and political upheavals that followed over the centuries, the faithful sought spiritual discernment, often at great risk, trying to listen for God's will in the midst of chaos and danger.

In 1549, the first Book of Common Prayer instructs parish priests to be a pastoral support and to guide all in their care, so that pastoral care was accompanied by spiritual formation, helping people to integrate their relationship with God into their daily lives, at home with their families as well as in the world.

Anglican spiritual direction is about balance and moderation, centered on the "via media" or middle way, mystical yet practical, with an emphasis on humility, encouraging us to be patient as we pray through conflict and discord. Spiritual directors help individuals:Reflect on God's presence in everyday life
Develop a disciplined, regular prayer life (Rule of Life)
Guide the study of Scripture and other spiritual reading
Explore different forms of prayer such as Benedictine, Franciscan, Ignatian, Centering
 
What happens in a Spiritual Direction Meeting?
Generally, the participant meets with the spiritual director every 4-6 weeks for about 60-90 minutes. There can be prayer, study, contemporary discussion, fun, grieving, silence, the Sacrament of healing (prayers for healing with anointing), music, food, pictures, gifts from nature, taking a walk, sitting on a wall-in other words, any setting mutually conducive to a ministry of spiritual discernment. If the spiritual director is a priest the directee might also arrange to make private Confession and receive Absolution.

The spiritual director should be someone other than clergy from the directee's parish. This allows parish clergy to be fully available to the directee within the context of the parish community while giving the directee the space and freedom to bring all questions into spiritual direction.

Spiritual direction relationships are very individual. Most spiritual directors will suggest a trial time to see if the relationship is a fit and, if it is not, will usually be helpful with referrals that might be a better fit. Some spiritual directors charge a fee ($25-50) per session, while others are open to a contribution if that is manageable for the directee, but are also willing to meet if no contribution can be offered.

Spiritual direction is a confidential ministry except in situations where the law may be being broken and/or there is serious possibility of extreme danger to you or other persons.

[Note: As in all ministerial relationships, it is never appropriate for the spiritual director to offer the participant a relationship which includes excessive personal demands, or any romantic or sexual intimacy. If you believe that in your relationship with your spiritual director you are experiencing any of these aspects of extreme and inappropriate intimacy, please speak with a clergy or lay person who is trained to help you resolve this issue. In CT, please contact the Rev. Janet Waggoner at stpauls@stpaulsct.org. One of our referral coordinators will call you as soon as possible. (860) 233-4481 or (800) 842-0126 (in CT) or mhart@ctdiocese.org.

 What is the Difference Between Spiritual Directon and Therapy?
Spiritual direction is not therapy. Usually, therapy offers a clinical focus with a more intense schedule of meetings such as weekly or, for acute crises, several times each week. While some counseling needs might require years of therapy, others may last for several months or a few years. Spiritual direction, once begun, usually continues for many years, even for a lifetime. In most instances, therapy and spiritual direction are compatible, but spiritual direction on its own when therapy is needed is not recommended. It is helpful if the spiritual director has some training as well as supervision to assist in distinguishing the different needs of participants.

How do I find a Spiritual Director?
In the Diocese of CT, members of the Bishop's Convocation for Prayer can help refer you to a spiritual director. Please contact the Rev. Janet Waggoner at stpauls@stpaulsct.org for more information.

Some questions a referral coordinator might ask:
1. Would you prefer to meet with a male or female spiritual director, lay or ordained?
2. Do you want your spiritual director to be completely separate and apart from your everyday life?
3. Do you want a spiritual director who works at a retreat center so that you could use the center for Quiet Days and/or directed retreats?
4. Are you able to pay a fee?
5. Are there personal issues in which you would like your spiritual director to have particular experience such as gender issues, divorce, single parenting, military service, adoption, chronic or acute illness, physical, mental or emotional challenges, addiction, discernment for ordination and/or religious vows. If you are in a 12-Step program it is important for your spiritual director to know this in order to support you in your recovery.